What If I'm Not The Superhero?

My old LJ anyway because I finally got my password back.

...But I'm not using this anymore. MY MESSAGE COUNT IS SCARY DX

I should I put a post up here ages ago. One thing led to another and everything went to hell and no more LJ for me.

Lots has happened and changed. Life is crazy. If you remember me, hit me up! I miss you wonderful people!!!

Email: midoriko_aimee_tigereye@yahoo.com
AIM: MadSciGrl
www.myspace.com/mijma

Don't forget to let me know who you are when you contact me :D

I have become obsessed. [YES JENNA I HAVE GONE OVER TO THE DARKSIDE OF MYWHORESPACE]. If you have a MySpace let me know so I can friend you ^^

LOVE<3

I don't know what I have to offer, but if you'd be nice enough to help me you could name your price/keep an I.O.U. :D

I want an icon/banner, NOT SMALL, with a black background and these words on it:

I aM tHe BeAuTiFuL dArK UnDeAd aNgRy MaD iNsAnE sExY gOtH vAmPiRe BiTcH fRoM hElL yOu AlL lOvE tO hAtE aNd HaTe To LoVe

~*Madeline* [Twilight Rainbow]~

Emphasized words:
"beautiful" - large, yellow
"undead" - large
"angry" - red
"mad" - dark red
"insane" - small, large
"sexy" - hot pink
"vampire" - bronze, large
"hell" - blood red
"love" - rose, large
"hate" - burgundy, small
"hate" - crimson, large
"love" - violet, small

The rest in same size prink, white.
Don't forget the sticky caps.
And if you want to be creative I wouldn't say no :D

Please and thank you!!!

[Even if you don't help me, thank you for at least noticing!!!]

Anyone have any suggestions for where I could go/who I could go to for such a thing?

Love regardless<3

Originally posted on MySpace: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=48195875

Oh, yes, I do! It came to my family April 2nd. My friend, Ashley, found it, abandoned, in a box, downtown. She asked my dad to help her get it to the humane society, but instead he said we could keep it! Yesterday we got her everything: a cage, hay, alfalfa, fruit cakes, food, a water bottle. My dad went all out - she, like all the other inhabitants of our home, is now spoiled. Of course.

Here she is in her doggy-training-kennel-cage:

Look at those ears!

Awww! This one wasn't on purpose, BUT LOOK AT HER!!!

Staring at me...*ninja* (HANDLEBAR MUSTACHE!)

Jus' chillin' 8B

Her name is Groucho. She is the bunny people who don't like rabbits think is cute :D

LOOK WHAT SHE DID TO ME :D

I was trying to pick her up, she struggled, I tried not to drop her, I did anyway, she was fine, I put her away, later while reading I looked at my arm, and it was bleeding :D it doesn't sting anymore x( but it did :)))

I told my friend, Jenna, about her (hence why I uploaded thess piccies so quickly :DDD), and she looked up bunnies! AMG INSANE FLUFFY! (These are the kinds of bunnies she wants).

Actually, these aren't the TRUE, hard-core, INSANE fluffy bunnies.

English Angora Rabbit D:

This one is kinda like the one that scared Jenna...I think it's a bunny >.<

And her dogs--which are random, but so cute!--though mostly dead D:

http://pics.livejournal.com/hope_rising/gallery/0000987f

AND MY DREAM BUNNY(IES)!!! :DDD

As Jenna said: "awwww now THAT'S the cute kind of fuzzy"

Haha so many piccies x)

Three of the MANY I took were actually okay, this is the one I sent in to be posted on the page :D LOVE MY FACE XD

Fights between friends on TV are bullshit.

Real life doesn't work that way. Hearts don't heal, things don't go back to the way they were, friends are never that close to you, tha honest.

Pain and suffering - that's life. Whatever; I know that. But the way we are being raised is a lie. It's all such fucking bullshit.

I don't feel happy, or elated. It's not one day of badness, a few weeks of greatness, and then a few more hurting experiences. I'm lucky to smile while being honest with myself.

It sucks. I'm haunted. Why couldn't they tell us this before? I envy the dead. They wised up.

Go to hell? Please. Life is hell - and there is no heaven.

As some should remember from my last entry, I have an "older brother" named Mark. We aren't physically related, but he's been around in my life ever since I moved to MD (ick!). Only recently have I gotten over adolescent maturity (enough) to actually want to talk with him; I was in denial and all of that crap. So today he calls and my parents are out - in New York - so we talk for a bit. We talk about life - ours are equally uneventful - and I mention how everyone hates me and I have no friends - which is really close to the whole truth - and then I mention how the ones who are nicest to me are the boys that are not my friends because my guy "friends" are more feminine than the girls; and I allow that that is because I have boobs.

Mark laughed so hard it was like he was crying.

He complained a bit, and I defended myself by pointing out it was true, and he said that I shouldn't say such things to him since he's my brother.

a) I grew up with my mom; what do you expect?
b) It's true.
c) He's not technically my brother.

My mom will be so proud of me, she'll laugh her ass off. (HAHA PAYBACK FOR THE ONE PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE WHO ACTUALLY PICKS ON ME!) My dad will probably just tune this out.

He quickly made the excuse that his grandmother was on fire - I protested that he had to say it in French for it to work - so he did - Eddie fans will totally get that! - and then we got off the phone. Goddammit, FaceBook is the one fucking online thing I don't have! (Okay, hyperbole, but still!!!) I didn't get his email, and I miss talking to him already what with how my life's going at the moment, but I'll be fine. I guess that's called being numb.

Just thought I'd share :D

It's been a while since I've posted anything for the general masses to read, so I thought, what the hay! I'm awake anyway, and not studying or working as I should, instead messing with the story that now dominates my existence. When talking to kaiwynn one time I finally mapped out how very cracked up I am in that my obsession with Twilight dominates my life. As it does many of yours - rock on! It's just that awesome. Everything reminds me of it, everything relates back to it, half of my day is dedicated to it in one form or another. So I have figured out how my close family members/friends are like the characters. Whoot!

I am, of course, Rosalie Hale and Isabella Swan.

My "older brother", Mark, is Jacob. Not only is he tall, we are also very close (not willingly on my part, although things have changed since last time he was here), and I used to wish we were actually related because I was the one crushing on him. Plus, his fiance is a bit like Bella in a really kickass way XD

My girlfriend, Sarah, is a lot like Jasper in that she is antisocial, scholarly, she seems emotionless, she's detached, and she's tall.

kaiwynn, of course, is Alice! HAHA XD

MY DAD, is the detachedness of Jasper plus the brawn of Emmett plus the thoughtful genius and musical talent and able-to-do-everything-ness of Edward.

MY MOM, is the spazziness of Alice and the motherliness of Esme and the prettiness of Rosalie and the smarts/ineptitudes of Bella.

My dad can possess the anger of Edward, my mom the anger of Victoria, and Mark the anger of Jacob.

AND THAT'S NOT ALL...probably.

ROSALIE!

Yes, Rosalie is my muse, hence the picture of "her" that I use for all my artsy posts (as of lately, which isn't much of a pattern, but oh well).

For those of you who keep up with my journal entries, you may have caught a glimpse of one I posted about how I am Rosalie, and hence why I love her. (I also posted one on why I love Jasper, which is only vaguely related, but still--JASPER IS LOVE!!!)

The way I figure it, Rosalie Lillian Hale is beautiful, and raw, and a very large part of my very being. She represents all that I wish I had in this world for real-life inspiration, and several bits of myself I only discovered through reading Twilight and New Moon (because I am a loser, ahem). She also means even more to me that I'm not sure I know all of, much less can accurately post about, so I'll leave it for my three readers to ponder and figure out if they so wish :D

I need to stop falling in love with my damn self!!! GAH!!!

I just wrote this little piece of a spoken exchange. It serves no purpose (although it nestles comfortably in a Twilight fanfiction storyline for use later on) and I am sad to say might not make much sense to, well, anyone. And, if it does, it might very well be a spoiler. But feh! I'm proud of it. Don't ask me why. As I said earlier, I'm in love with myself.

"Um...you look...very nice."
"Only very nice?"
"Well...um...yes?"
"Silly Jacob Black, that’s hardly an encouraging response."
"What am I supposed to say?"
"The truth, why of course!"
"What do you mean?"
"Tell me what you really think of what I’m wearing, duh."
"Um..."
"Here’s a hint: usually on the first date a girl is going for...?"
"Um..."
"You’re clueless, Jake. Usually a girl goes for sexy on a first date, of course."
"But this isn’t our first date."
"Well of course it is."
"No it isn’t."
"Then what, pray tell, was?"
"..."
"Well?"
"Um..."
"Your word of the day."
"..."
"Don’t be shy. Tell me!"
"How do you define a first date?"
"The first time two people who really like each other plan to get together as more than friends."
"By that reasoning, our first date was the day before your stint in the hospital."
"...When you came back from exiling yourself."
"Yes."
"...So our first kiss is already covered."
"Yes."
"Then this will come as little surprise to you..."
"..."
"..."
"...Wow."
"That’s what I was aiming for."

...I blame my muse, aka "Anti-Maddy's Block"/"Anti-Writer's Block" (two completely different things).

Now I wanna go write more little pieces like this...AH HA! DRABBLES! MWAHAHA!

...Ahem *shifty eyes* I was going for cute...and understandable...without anything more than dialogue?...Meep?

Even my dish-doing!

...Actually, especially my dish-doing, but that is a story for another time...like never.

Anyways, as I was saying before! I was doing the dishes, as I should, finally, and I was listening to Three Days Grace, one of my favorite bands. (SHOUT OUT TO GET_OUT_ALIVE24!!!). Ahem, anyways. I was listening to TDG and the song "Scared" came on. When it gets to the part towards the end where the voice changes to low and creepy:

Its all because of you
I wish you never told me
I wake up screaming now
So real these voices in my head
So real these voices in my head
I wake up screaming now
I wish you never told me
I wish I never knew

...I always rewind and relisten to it over and over again. (Yes, while doing dirty, wet dishes; yes, while listening to my iPod; yes, every time.)

Suddenly, like a bolt of lightning, something hit me. I switched over to Bella's P.O.V. (in my head) and relistened to the whole song carefully. You can see where this is going.

Bolded: What works best.
Underlined:  My favorite part.
Italicized: Song lyrics.

Now I need to go through ALL of the songs of ALL of my VERY favorite bands...Evanescence, Linkin Park, Three Days Grace, Sum 41, Cascada...and figure out which ones work in Twilight/New Moon. AND THEN my less favorite but still favored...Emilie Autumn, Vanessa Carlton, Frou Frou, Tatu...should also be examined.

Haha, I should be doing so much stuff THAT IS NOT WHAT I'M CURRENTLY DOING :D

Feel free to chime in, people!
I am primarily Rosalie because at my most extreme...
1. I am vain. I am in love with myself and obsessed with my perfections. I am also self-absorbed, selfish, and egotistical/egocentric. Which makes me unwavering and over-confident and hard to influence.
2. I am shallow. I care much more about what I see in a person versus their souls. (Although this goes more for intellects in my case.)
3. I am bitchy. If I don't like you, you'll know it. I complain when I am unhappy and I need others to dote over me and make me feel like a goddess.
4. I am melodramatic. I will create a scene if I feel that no one is paying attention to me or if I'm bored and want attention. Especially if that special someone is around, because then I get what I want.
5. I am unsatisfied. Yes, what I have is good. But I could be happier, and I want more, and less, than what I have. In this way I am also clingy, never letting go of the past, wanting it back, never letting it go.
Who are you?

Rules:
1. Write about a Twilight character you are most like.
2. One character per comparison.
3. Give only 5 reasons.
4. Comment to participate. Only one character per comment.
5. Make us believe you!

Let's see if this works...

http://womanlikeme.livejournal.com/96889.html

Haha, I just uploaded a whole bunch of these icons. THEY = LOVE!!!


I cleared out a lot of my old icons. I like change. It's fresh and pleasant. Clean, even.

Re-cap:

I love Jasper.
I adore Alice.
I am Rosalie.
I love Emmett.
I am Bella.
I identify with Edward.

I make no sense.

:D

As most of you should know... a lot of people post who they think should play the Twilight characters according to acting ability and appearance. A lot of people also create Twilight icons and backgrounds with different models and actors as the various characters.

As most of you probably do not know... I am into photography. Not as much as I am into writing, but the passion is there nonetheless. The fact that I am an amateur in both respects changes little. I take pictures and appreciate art and love observing people (which fulfulls both of my passions).

I despise... collages; something about juxtaposing various images is like drawing and painting and creating art from scratch for me: I am not good at it. See how I'm not in Art I or II, Drawing and Painting, etc?

In my Photo II class... we have to do a collage, either in the style of Romare Bearden or Barbara Kruger, on a social issue.

THANK GOD!!! Bearden was all about cutting up magazines and ripping paper and such. Barbara Kruger took the images of others and put text on them to portray a meaning. Hahaha, I love it!!!

I love... looking at images, especially in magazines (I love pretty people), and have compiled a small stack of them for the project (that is now due Tuesday instead of Monday thanks to us going home early on Friday). I also love thinking of text to go with them, since I am a writer and all, as that is a requirement. I actually like our Student Teacher, she's really cool.

What does this have to do with anything? When we were learning about Barbara Kruger we looked at some of her artwork. Of course, the first thing that came into my mind was "TWILIGHT!" The quotes on her pieces were sooo perfect. Also, I have a whole bunch of images saved for this project, perhaps, and my own self, and some ideas that involve - you guess it - twilight.

Barbara Kruger Quotes: (Only the ones I wrote down. More are perfect for Twilight as far as I can remember. I shall research more.)

"Your body is a battleground".
~Jasper.
This was originally about abortion. Barbara Kruger was way into issues that had to do with woman. Sorry, Jazz, but this works for you!

"I can't look at you and breathe at the same time."
~Bella.
AMG HOW IS THIS NOT PERFECT!!! FATE IS SCARY SOMETIMES!!!!!!

"I shop, therefrore I am."
~Alice.
Haha, we love you <3

"We don't need another soldier."
~Edward.
Yeah...this one is kinda odd...don't ask me why I figured this...

ALSO! AMG! When looking through a magazine I found a picture of Matt Damon (it hit me hard and stopped me short) and I found out that his daughter's name is Isabella. LOVE!!! *heartsmattdamon*

One last thing. Any other photographers out there? I know there are writers. How about artists? Or just people, haha. HOW AWESOME WOULD IT BE TO HAVE A CULLEN OR A HALE AS A SUBJECT???!!! AMG!!!!!! (i.e. Rosalie, as in my icon, <3, ^^).

As you can see from my default picture, I am in love with Jasper. He reminds me a whole lot of my girlfriend, Sarah, and he is definitely my type.

As you can see from this posts icon, I am Rosalie, and I adore Rosalie.

If you visit my other icons, you will see that I am also Bella. And, if you know me well enough, you know that I am also in love with Emmett. But I'm not Alice, and I am only in love with Edward when I'm reading the books/something from an IC Bella's POV.

Haha, I'm so weird.

Aaand, to sum that up...

I am mainly Rosalie/in love with Jasper.

I am secondarily Bella/in love with Emmett.

I am not Alice/in love with Edward.

On another note, what do you think of my new layout?

(Yo, if one of my icons is yours, let me know and I will credit you. I'm so sorry I'm not right now! I save stuff and forget where it comes from. I'm a bad person. And I need to save more icons!!!)

If you have read one or more of my three posted Twilight fanfiction stories, I would like you to know that I love you dearly, and if you haven't commented you should, even if to say you don't like them, or to say "yo, I read it, peace out". I just wanna know if people read them, although more in a review is nice, I don't need that much stimulation (although, as I said, it is nice); one supporter per fic is more than enough to keep me buttered up enough to continue.

If you haven't read any of them, you should totally check 'em out!!!

BELLA
PART ONE:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3414798/1/
http://community.livejournal.com/twilightfans/310620.html
http://community.livejournal.com/twilight_fics/15126.html
http://twilightarchives.com/viewstory.php?sid=249&chapter=1
PART TWO:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3414798/2/
http://community.livejournal.com/twilightfans/327446.html
http://community.livejournal.com/twilight_fics/16747.html
http://twilightarchives.com/viewstory.php?sid=249&chapter=2
PART THREE:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3414798/3/
http://community.livejournal.com/twilightfans/332842.html
http://community.livejournal.com/twilight_fics/17208.html
http://twilightarchives.com/viewstory.php?sid=249&chapter=3
WOMAN'S BEST FRIEND
PART ONE:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3414802/1/
http://community.livejournal.com/wildlove_jblack/1099.html
http://twilightarchives.com/viewstory.php?sid=251&chapter=1
PART TWO:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3414802/2/
http://community.livejournal.com/wildlove_jblack/1732.html
http://twilightarchives.com/viewstory.php?sid=251&chapter=2
PART THREE:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3414802/2/
http://community.livejournal.com/wildlove_jblack/2027.html
MIDNIGHT
PART ONE:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3414832/1/
http://community.livejournal.com/twilightfans/310897.html
http://community.livejournal.com/twilight_fics/15466.html
http://twilightarchives.com/viewstory.php?sid=250&chapter=1
PART TWO:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3414832/2/
http://community.livejournal.com/twilightfans/336075.html
http://community.livejournal.com/twilight_fics/17642.html

(If you are feeling mighty lazy and still want to know more, that's no problem. Just comment and let me know, I'll be more than happy to whore out my own stories! Tee hee!)

ALSO: I am mighty curious...how many people actually see/read my entries? Hollaback and let me know, whether or not you really read this or care at all! I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!

KAIWYNN, I HAVE NOW ADDED IN THE TWILIGHTARCHIVES LINKS AS FAR AS I AM ABLE, BECAUSE YOUR SITE IS AMAZING!!!

This summarizes it all:

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=52906350&blogID=240968028&Mytoken=C92260E0-5507-4F97-B30BD746E0C156B024233475

Hee hee, so much love!!!

AMG MY FRIENDS ARE AMAZING!

I haven't been doing too well the past two days. My girlfriend, Sarah, is too amazing to explain. Assorted peeps online are also really cool, though they knew nothing. My best friends came over today (Hope<3 and Tegan<3). And finally kaiwynn has done the most amazing thing of all: written me a Twilight oneshot (and praised me, XD). 

http://twilightarchives.com/viewstory.php?sid=288

IT IS AMAZING!!! AND SHE IS AMAZING!!! AND I FEEL AMAZING!!!

I am all kinds of a bad kitten. Right now I am not doing my homework and am nowhere near done finishing what I oughtta have finished tomorrow, even though I lost an hour today and really need to get cracking. Why? Because The Great Gatsby and Cromwell do not interest me. Perhaps I'll study for Biology instead. Goddammit I have two exams this Wednesday!!! (MWH&Bio). And Hope hasn't called me back yet :(...I'll probably just copy off her in the morning/in-class (the activity isn't due, and the timeline won't take long (to copy)) and Kyle in Photography. [/naughtynaughty]

Off to call my best friend...AGAIN >.> <.<

I am so in love with my new shoes!!!

Black Boots:

Orange Slippers:

And my gothic heart choker!!!

I love shopping...but I love my mommy more. SQUEE!

(FYI: The first boots were chosen over an other pair THAT ACTUALLY FIT ME (oh my good fortune) but these won out for their look amongst other things I can't remember; these were more graceful, though I liked the others too, a bit. The orange reminds me of my daddy, and that's part of why I wanted them. And my mommy loves the choker.
Also, I am only doing this because Victoria* did it first, tee hee she rocks!)

*

eleganza_bella